We cannot escape it: Pain. It is an inevitable part of life that shadows and weaves its way into our existence. Sometimes ever so slightly grazing us and opening our eyes just enough to bring us to reality. Other times it comes with fire and fierceness.......... breaking and tearing apart our insides leaving a trail of broken tears. Splitting us up and engulfing the light left that is shining within us. We run from it because it awakens the darkness we so try to hide from.
Our relationships throughout our lives that are marred with suffering and turmoil are our greatest gifts one can have or be blessed with.
Why is this you say? How could pain and suffering bring anything good to one's life?
Opening myself up and speaking my truth in hopes that if you read this, you will understand your destiny in becoming who you are meant to be......even through the pain life brings. There is light.
I was in a relationship that was devastating to my soul and spirit. It was soul killing. Soul, Mind, Body and Spirit killing. I didn't recognize who I was when it ended. I couldn't see myself through the lies. The deception. The partnership that disquised itself with perpetual and never ending words that chipped away my being. The sometimes physical damage by hands that were supposed to keep me safe and guard my heart, are etched in my memory. Never escaping my thoughts because it grounds me for my future in what I know what I deserve and don't deserve.
We all have relationships in which we are present with pain and suffering. In family dynamics, intimate relationships and even with people we may not know on a personal level. There can be dysfunction on many levels. Emotional. Mental. Physical.
Like the poem from Robert Frost. We have two roads we can take in life. The road that is familiar and speaks to us to be easy or the other road leading us to another world within us:
Pain if we allow ourselves to sit in its fire and brimstone; can make us see our strengths and wisdom. If we run towards it........... wanting to hold onto its flames, something beautiful emerges. Its gifts are revealed in the fight for air and life. Like a volcano that unleashes fire, hurricanes that flood and destroy, storms that destroy the natural landscape........mother nature always renews and births its healing when needed.
We have that ability within us to renew our soul. Heal our spiritTo realize the God given strength bestowed upon us before we were born. To harness and honor ourselves even in the face of darkness.
Taking the path that is easy. The road that hides and runs from the piercing, stabbing and sometimes feeling like the air is being taken from your breath.........we need not turn away. For if we do, we will never reach our full potential to own and embrace our warrior inside. It is part of reaching for our higher self.
My younger self in every way wanted to always take the road opposite less traveled. Avoiding in every way as to not feel. To not think. To not have to be pinned down by weights that would bring me closer to the truth of my being.
The relationship that broke me. Ultimately woke me up and one of the greatest blessings in disguise that I can thank God for. It awakened a part of me that I knew was there but was too scared to be real with. It taught me lessons and found courage that needed to be fostered and cared for and honored.
Pain. Don't hide. Don't run. If we let it become part of our being, we can begin to live in truth and receive the gifts that we deserve.
Be Bold. Be Brave. Be Beautiful
